To me, empathy for others is an innate and integral part of who I am. So when I noticed a lack of empathy toward others in my 3rd child, my heart sank.

With her siblings and with friends on the playground, she would come across as cold and uncaring. It wasn't like she was mean or cruel, she just seemed removed from the situation. If someone got hurt, or was in a scuffle with another child, she could simply state a rational, logical explanation as to what happened, while others were crying and dramatically telling the story as it best fit their desired outcome.

When watching her interact with others, I would often think of Spock from the Star Trek TV series. For her, everything had a logical explanation. Getting all sentimental and wrapped up in emotional drama didn't make sense to her. As you can imagine, being the only child among her siblings that value truth over harmony, reason over compassion, and analysis over empathy, has created a great deal of friction and many misunderstandings.

To hear her say that nobody likes her breaks my heart. To hear her siblings say she is rude and mean breaks my heart. Over the years, I have played the intermediary, often stepping in to ease hurt feelings on both sides. Reminding each of my children that it isn't always about being rude or mean, although we have those moments, too, but that our behaviors could just be about different ways of assessing and acting on a situation.

My analytical child does feel deeply and tends to reserve those moments when she deems it necessary. She has a passion for working with special needs children and those children who are underprivileged. It is here where her deep compassion and empathy for others shines through, with an emphasis on how she might better a system that seems in need of improvement.

I encourage all my kids to recognize and appreciate differences in each other, not only in their sibling relationships but in those relationships outside of the home, with friends, teachers, and extended family. It isn't always easy and we visit this conversation often. My hope is that one day they will truly get it.

Understanding that being "tender-hearted" or "tough-minded" isn't good or bad, but just a different way of being in the world, has helped to bridge the communication gaps.

Parents of children in middle school can feel they are caught by a bungee cord that whips them between giving their child independence and being fearful that the child is not ready to make decisions. Children this age are trying to establish their values as separate from the family, while at the same time loving the family and wanting to be part of that value system. Both parent and child experience the push and pull of this time period.

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Last summer we moved from Virginia to Texas, leaving behind our college-aged daughter who was about to enter her sophomore year. It was a tough year for us both. She was homesick and I missed her dearly.

Over her December break, she started thinking about transferring schools so that she could move closer to us. Although this is what I had been hoping for, I knew this needed to be her decision. I could listen, I could lend support, and perhaps even encouraging words, but all in all, she needed to be the one to decide.

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When it comes to a crisis, especially one involving physical injury, you do not want me around! Several experiences come to mind in regard to my own children and let me be the first to say, I’m not too proud of these moments.

I like a well-planned out life. However, accidents typically do not happen on a schedule! I have a preference for Judging, and planning every moment of everyday makes me happy!

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There is nothing I hate worse than seeing potential wasted. Getting that dreaded email or phone call from an exasperated teacher certainly does not help the situation.

Our school district has an online Parent Portal where parents can log in and monitor their child’s grades throughout the year. Now with five children this can become a full-time job in and of itself, so thankfully over the years there has not been a big need in my family to utilize this site, except with one child in particular.

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As a parent, I am sure you will relate well to this one! School mornings … chaos! Everyone has somewhere they need to be, each with their own schedule and arrival times. Our society does not function on going at your own pace or getting there when you get there.

You would think that those who typically get up late and run out at the last minute would be the most stressed, but not in our house! Those are the kids who seem most chill about throwing on their clothes, probably yesterday’s clothes, popping a mint, and putting their hair up in a messy ponytail.

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We tell children so often that they are wonderful just being who they are but they don?t always feel wonderful. Many worry greatly about how others perceive them and do not have a sense of what others see.

Some children focus only on their flaws. Others notice only their strengths. Development means we all have moments when our way is a perfect match for the situation. Then there are the times when our way does not work well for the task at hand and we must accommodate.

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Teachers and parents often agree that individuality should be encouraged in the home and in the classroom, but sometimes we hear comments from teachers that sound like this: "How am I supposed to do that when there are more than 30 students in the class?"

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Getting ready to meet the new teacher can add to the stress of the new year. Learning how to work through difficult situations is an important life skill, especially for young people.

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Time management is a big deal in school, especially considering the incredibly busy lives so many of our kids lead. Clearly, some kids like structure, using a planner to organize their daily activities and homework assignments, and we know many who don't. Teaching kids in a way that honors their different learning styles can help everyone succeed.

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When a child makes an independent choice, development occurs. We want to give children the freedom of wise decision making, but some decisions are not theirs to make. That’s when rules apply.

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Kids spend a great deal of time away from us during the day, either through day care or school, depending upon age and parents' schedules. So, what goes on during this time? If you are like me, one of the first things I ask the kids when they come home is, "How was your day?"

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A major challenge for some parents is learning how to support your children without forgetting about yourself. I developed habits and policies – my Parent Operating System – through experience and reflection. A foundational piece came after one “my project is due tomorrow” event.

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Children love when we wait on them hand and foot. Who doesn't? Sometimes, without meaning to, we inadvertently encourage children to feign helplessness because we rush to help too soon. Here is a suggested strategy that works well for those occasions.

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How can you keep up with all your kids' scheduled activities? Here a few tips for managing the onslaught of after-school programs.

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When you see signs of frustration and misunderstandings in your family, it may be time for a family meeting. This People Stripes article gives a good example of the positive outcomes.

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Time-out is a staple in the set of parenting tools for managing a child’s inappropriate behaviors. Time-out was a good alternative to spanking children but we can do even better. Try changing the chair to a Problem-Solving chair.

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Taking time to reflect before making a decision is a good skill to have. Depending on their preferences, kids may either be good at it or may not recognize the importance of that inner conversation. This People Stripes article examines the manifestations of our inward and outward energies.

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You know that feeling when you just can't finish a sentence before your friend jumps in with a better version of your story. It may not be what you think it is. This People Stripes article that offers a fresh perspective on this challenging moment.

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Learning about personality type can make a big difference in how we view our siblings. They may not be intentionally trying to drive us crazy! This People Stripes article offers a perspective on how a teenager learned to understand that her sister sees the world differently.

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If your first reaction as a parent is to dive in and solve problems for your kids, you might want to rethink that action. In this People Stripes article, Elizabeth Murphy cautions us to let our kids learn to make their own choices.

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Picking a college to attend is one of the biggest steps into the journey of adulthood. So many external forces are in play - it can be difficult to the student to focus on their own development and how that impacts the college decision. This People Stripes article offers a useful perspective on this adventure.

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Characters on Game of Thrones are looking to leave a legacy, and that is a tough job for them. Luckily personality type can provide a more peaceful path towards creating a legacy that imprints a positive message on our loved ones. Elizabeth Murphy shows the way in this People Stripes article.

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How do you support your children when they encounter a failure in their life? Moments of failure might actually be essential on the path to victory. This People Stripes article gives you tips on how to support differences in children's reactions to failure.

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What is the first thing you do when your child or your student comes home or enters a room? An intentional greeting can make a big difference for everyone. Elizabeth Murphy provides a few tips on how to make each greeting count.

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Finding a gift for a child can be a real joy, and that activity varies if you are the parent or the grandparent. This People Stripes article offers a few ideas you might not have considered when picking out a gift that might truly be appreciated.

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Motivation matters. It is the core of our personality that motivates us, and this shines through in several different ways depending upon our personality type. See how motivation manifests itself in teens with different types.

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Do you ever play the “What if” game? It may not be a real game, but we all probably play it everyday. Always living in the here and now is hard - our minds start wandering to what might be just around the corner. This People Stripes article explores how to deal with that in a family with those who prefer Intuition or Sensing.

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Time for a big family decision? When there are many things to discuss, many people will be involved, everyone will have to adjust, and the resolution won't happen overnight. Everyone needs to be heard, so a family meeting is the way to go.

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When everyone is home and expected to be productive, how do we account for differences in our preferences for working and learning? This People Stripes article explores how you can help the Introverts and Extraverts in your family.

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Coping with Covid-19 continues to be a major challenge for families. In this People Stripes article Yvonne Nelson-Reid explores more type-based techniques for getting through these tough times.

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Yvonne Nelson-Reid discusses the distinctions between preferences for Judging and Perceiving in her two youngest children, in grades 11 and 12, when they had the opportunity to take Advanced Placement Environmental Science together. The preferences indicate an important distinction in personalities, as preferences for Judging and Perceiving determine how people approach established deadlines.

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People tend to make inaccurate assumptions about themselves when faced with a problem to solve that requires them to go outside of their natural personality type. We can all use our opposite preferences when a situation requires it, however, it might feel awkward or uncomfortable, and we may be less effective in how we use them, leading to stress and a sense of personal failure. Children may experience this at a higher rate.

In this second article of "From the Kids" series, Yvonne Nelson-Reid chronicles a moment in her daughter's journey of understanding personality type differences and the compromises needed to succeed in school.

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This is the second article of a series on a large two-year study at Combs Magnet Elementary school in Raleigh, North Carolina, where the MMTIC® instrument and system was comprehensively incorporated into the school system.

In Combs-Part 2 we delve into the outcome of the teacher's training program that worked towards developing type awareness, understanding and connecting with their students, working as a team, and seeing new possibilities for assessing student learning.

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Starting with an understanding of communication styles can make a difference in all our relationships.

In this third article of "From the Kids" Series, Yvonne Nelson-Reid discusses how understanding type differences can help teenagers navigate the complications of high school dating. Her teenage daughter describes the positive impact that learning about, and appreciating, communication style differences based on personality type, had on her own relationship.

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Happy holidays from People Stripes! May these type tips be our gift to you, bringing you peace, joy, and love, with the hope of acceptance this holiday season.

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Imagine a world with well-rounded, caring, emotionally aware, and capable people living their best life with a healthy sense of their own identity and respect for others. Isn't this what we all want? In this article, the first in a series, Yvonne Nelson-Reid explores the interrelationship between personality type and the Social Emotional Learning (SEL) movement, and how that connection can benefit the healthy development of youth and adults alike.

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In the sixth article of the series, Personality Type and Social Emotional Learning, Yvonne Nelson-Reid highlights how Social Awareness, along with an understanding and appreciation of type differences, can make way for the constructive use of these differences. Differences often drive us apart, but valuing these differences can unite us and instill greater compassion and empathy for others.

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This month’s article is by Sandra Etherington, a mother of two who is an MBTI® and MMTIC® certified professional. Sandra eloquently shares her own parenting experience dealing with her children and a conflict that arose between Thinking and Feeling preferences.

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We are excited to add a new article to our From the Kids series, because this time it is written by a kid! Please welcome Gracyn Nelson-Reid, a junior in university, who grew up in a home where personality type differences were understood and appreciated. She shares the value of family traditions during holidays and special events, like Halloween, as it relates to her personality type.

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What are your kids' personality preferences and have you ever found yourself frustrated by them? In this month's article, Sandra Etherington shares how to shift your perspective to discover reasons to be grateful for your child's individual personality preferences.

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Gracyn Nelson-Reid, writing an article for the From the Kids series, tells us how her preference for ESFJ and her boyfriend's preference for INTP has caused numerous disagreements between them due to their complete opposite personality types. It hasn't been easy for them but understanding their personality type differences has provided a framework for better, more respectful communication.

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May the fourth, popularly known as Stars Wars Day, is a day to think about the force within you. Gracyn Nelson-Reid celebrates this day with an article about the force (type awareness) within all of us that can be accessed every day. Everyone has the capability to access the “type” force and make the world a more understanding place. It starts with becoming aware of your personality type and what strengths and stretches you have.

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Pets, personality type preferences, and high energy kids make a chaotic house for Sandra Etherington. Using her handy-dandy knowledge of typology, Sandra figures out how to how to change her kids behavior in order to improve their relationship with the new cute, cuddly puppy.

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People Stripes is proud to share The Myers-Briggs Company Podcast on parenting and personality type, featuring Dr. Yvonne Nelson-Reid, our in-house Type expert. In this episode, Dr. Nelson-Reid dives into the most commonly asked questions about personality type and parenting.

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Looking to foster holiday harmony? Take a peek at these type tips presented by Dr. Yvonne Nelson-Reid. And may your holidays be peaceful and fun!

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The four mental processes—Sensing, Intuition, Thinking, and Feeling—are used for taking in information and making decisions. We need all the processes for effective problem-solving. Most of us tend to lean on our natural strengths and neglect our stretches. For a balanced way to problem-solve, Yvonne Nelson-Reid, PhD, proposes the use of the Z-model. The Z-model is easy to use and directs one, using questions for guidance, through each of the four mental processes.

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