Recently, there's been a family dealing with change in the news—perhaps you heard—Prince Harry and Meghan want a different sort of life. They had meetings with the Queen and others because everyone will be affected.

Like other family changes, such as a student returning home after leaving college, or a family having to move to a new community, it's not an emergency sort of situation, and there may be no need for a rapid response. It's critical in a different way; there are many things to discuss, many people will be involved, everyone will have to adjust, and the resolution won't happen overnight. Everyone needs to be heard, so a family meeting is the way to go.

Family meetings are not new and it's easy to find tips and how-to's. You'll find agendas, tips for selecting a leader, using "I messages," and suggestions on how to brainstorm. Often members are reminded to take turns while speaking. A missing component though, is how to approach the problem while keeping everyone involved and "on the same page."

If I had the opportunity to sneak something helpful into that meeting at the palace it would be the extended version of the Z model. This adds Extraversion—Introversion and Judging— Perceiving to the four cognitive functions of Sensing, Intuition, Thinking, and Feeling.

To start, the royal (or not so royal) parents would spend alone time (introversion) identifying their individual observations, reactions, concerns, and suggestions. They would aim to come up with a shared broad statement alluding to the function-based discussions to come. It could go something like this:

"We have a family situation we haven't dealt with before. As we readjust, we hope we can work together to get the necessary facts as we know them (Sensing), exchange our hopes and wishes for the future (Intuition), analyze the causes and outcomes of how we got here (Thinking) and be open about what we're each concerned about most and why (Feeling)."

Next, they would meet for a kickoff session (maybe with popcorn or hot chocolate) to share their statement aloud (extraversion). Then, while everyone listens, each person would express their concerns and suggestions - not to discuss, decide or criticize - just tell. Next, even more tightly focused meetings would be arranged along with "between meeting alone time" (introversion) as part of the process.

We assume that complicated situations will take more sessions and more time to work through. Each discussion is followed by a pause (a couple of hours to a day). This allows each person to process their ideas and questions. Judging and Perceiving also play a part. Initial decisions are labeled as "under consideration" until everyone has additional introversion time.

Once decisions are made, there's a reminder: if new information comes up, the decision is reviewed again. With these mindsets, there will be a lot of processing time and a lot of meetings! And patience will be called on - a lot!

Ideally, the Z model is used as a framework to guide the discussion and reflection sessions.

• Sensing identifies the problem with a realistic, unsentimental eye and remembers known solutions.
• Intuition flattens assumptions and encourages new solutions and new ways of seeing the problem.
• Thinking fully analyzes the nonpersonal cause and effect and consequences without avoiding unpleasant, difficult topics.
• Feeling is where you get in touch what really matters to you in the long term and what the outcomes may be for everyone involved.

It's not necessary to go in order though it is helpful to stay with one cognitive function at a time.

The whole process may seem lengthy or awkward at first and does take time to practice. But it can really pay off when crowns are askew, when a slipper is lost, when a festival gets out of control, or the family coach is off in a ditch. There's no way to assure the Z model will bring peace to the kingdom but my experience says there will be more quiet satisfaction in at least a few castles.

A father was taking his young daughter on a ride using her brand-new bike with training wheels. I watched the little girl riding on the sidewalk. The father was running ahead moving any trashcan that was in the way or little twigs that might be a bump for her. Basically, he was doing his best to make it a perfectly fine path for the child to ride.

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When two siblings have the same family chore to do at different times it is easy to observe how each person approaches the task in different ways. Our family’s task of doing dishes came with a dilemma.

My daughter (10) had a preference for “getting the job done.” She would go to the kitchen and clean everything as quickly as possible so she could have more time for play. My son (8) would see this as a moment to play while getting the job done.

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Parents of children in middle school can feel they are caught by a bungee cord that whips them between giving their child independence and being fearful that the child is not ready to make decisions. Children this age are trying to establish their values as separate from the family, while at the same time loving the family and wanting to be part of that value system. Both parent and child experience the push and pull of this time period.

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Last summer we moved from Virginia to Texas, leaving behind our college-aged daughter who was about to enter her sophomore year. It was a tough year for us both. She was homesick and I missed her dearly.

Over her December break, she started thinking about transferring schools so that she could move closer to us. Although this is what I had been hoping for, I knew this needed to be her decision. I could listen, I could lend support, and perhaps even encouraging words, but all in all, she needed to be the one to decide.

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When it comes to a crisis, especially one involving physical injury, you do not want me around! Several experiences come to mind in regard to my own children and let me be the first to say, I’m not too proud of these moments.

I like a well-planned out life. However, accidents typically do not happen on a schedule! I have a preference for Judging, and planning every moment of everyday makes me happy!

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You would think that those who typically get up late and run out at the last minute would be the most stressed, but not in our house! Those are the kids who seem most chill about throwing on their clothes, probably yesterday’s clothes, popping a mint, and putting their hair up in a messy ponytail.

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Teachers and parents often agree that individuality should be encouraged in the home and in the classroom, but sometimes we hear comments from teachers that sound like this: "How am I supposed to do that when there are more than 30 students in the class?"

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Getting ready to meet the new teacher can add to the stress of the new year. Learning how to work through difficult situations is an important life skill, especially for young people.

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When a child makes an independent choice, development occurs. We want to give children the freedom of wise decision making, but some decisions are not theirs to make. That’s when rules apply.

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Kids spend a great deal of time away from us during the day, either through day care or school, depending upon age and parents' schedules. So, what goes on during this time? If you are like me, one of the first things I ask the kids when they come home is, "How was your day?"

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A major challenge for some parents is learning how to support your children without forgetting about yourself. I developed habits and policies – my Parent Operating System – through experience and reflection. A foundational piece came after one “my project is due tomorrow” event.

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Children love when we wait on them hand and foot. Who doesn't? Sometimes, without meaning to, we inadvertently encourage children to feign helplessness because we rush to help too soon. Here is a suggested strategy that works well for those occasions.

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How can you keep up with all your kids' scheduled activities? Here a few tips for managing the onslaught of after-school programs.

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When you see signs of frustration and misunderstandings in your family, it may be time for a family meeting. This People Stripes article gives a good example of the positive outcomes.

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Time-out is a staple in the set of parenting tools for managing a child’s inappropriate behaviors. Time-out was a good alternative to spanking children but we can do even better. Try changing the chair to a Problem-Solving chair.

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Taking time to reflect before making a decision is a good skill to have. Depending on their preferences, kids may either be good at it or may not recognize the importance of that inner conversation. This People Stripes article examines the manifestations of our inward and outward energies.

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You know that feeling when you just can't finish a sentence before your friend jumps in with a better version of your story. It may not be what you think it is. This People Stripes article that offers a fresh perspective on this challenging moment.

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Learning about personality type can make a big difference in how we view our siblings. They may not be intentionally trying to drive us crazy! This People Stripes article offers a perspective on how a teenager learned to understand that her sister sees the world differently.

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If your first reaction as a parent is to dive in and solve problems for your kids, you might want to rethink that action. In this People Stripes article, Elizabeth Murphy cautions us to let our kids learn to make their own choices.

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Picking a college to attend is one of the biggest steps into the journey of adulthood. So many external forces are in play - it can be difficult to the student to focus on their own development and how that impacts the college decision. This People Stripes article offers a useful perspective on this adventure.

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How do you support your children when they encounter a failure in their life? Moments of failure might actually be essential on the path to victory. This People Stripes article gives you tips on how to support differences in children's reactions to failure.

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What is the first thing you do when your child or your student comes home or enters a room? An intentional greeting can make a big difference for everyone. Elizabeth Murphy provides a few tips on how to make each greeting count.

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Finding a gift for a child can be a real joy, and that activity varies if you are the parent or the grandparent. This People Stripes article offers a few ideas you might not have considered when picking out a gift that might truly be appreciated.

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Helping your child succeed in the 21st century calls for a new approach to the balance between specialist and generalist. Elizabeth Murphy shows us how to nurture that balance, looking through the lens of personality type.

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Motivation matters. It is the core of our personality that motivates us, and this shines through in several different ways depending upon our personality type. See how motivation manifests itself in teens with different types.

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Do you ever play the “What if” game? It may not be a real game, but we all probably play it everyday. Always living in the here and now is hard - our minds start wandering to what might be just around the corner. This People Stripes article explores how to deal with that in a family with those who prefer Intuition or Sensing.

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When everyone is home and expected to be productive, how do we account for differences in our preferences for working and learning? This People Stripes article explores how you can help the Introverts and Extraverts in your family.

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Families all living at home together without a break are part of the reality of the pandemic life. Knowing about our loved one's personality type can provide insights into how stress is manifested in different ways. Accepting these differences can be a challenge - this People Stripes article gives some good tips for maintaining family equilibrium.

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It’s that time of year, and in spite of the pandemic, planning for next year is under way. After sitting with counselors, mentors, and parents, exploring all sorts of colleges, universities, gap-year options or entering the military service, some high school seniors are beginning to make decisions.

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The holidays bring a big challenge to families who want to be together, especially in a pandemic. Fortunately we have a proven model for decision-making. The Zig Zag method walks us through Sending, Intuition, Thinking, and Feeling and helps us arrive at a decision that honors the facts and the people.

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In this first article, of the series "From the Kids", Yvonne Nelson-Reid is dipping into her long history to share stories about the impact of type, on the kids who take the MMTIC assessment, from the perspective of the kids themselves.

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In this new Research Series, we will highlight studies that are relevant and useful to all of us who work with the MMTIC system. This first series is on a large two-year study at an elementary school in Raleigh, North Carolina, where the MMTIC instrument and system was comprehensively incorporated into the school system.

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People tend to make inaccurate assumptions about themselves when faced with a problem to solve that requires them to go outside of their natural personality type. We can all use our opposite preferences when a situation requires it, however, it might feel awkward or uncomfortable, and we may be less effective in how we use them, leading to stress and a sense of personal failure. Children may experience this at a higher rate.

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This is the second article of a series on a large two-year study at Combs Magnet Elementary school in Raleigh, North Carolina, where the MMTIC® instrument and system was comprehensively incorporated into the school system.

In Combs-Part 2 we delve into the outcome of the teacher's training program that worked towards developing type awareness, understanding and connecting with their students, working as a team, and seeing new possibilities for assessing student learning.

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Starting with an understanding of communication styles can make a difference in all our relationships.

In this third article of "From the Kids" Series, Yvonne Nelson-Reid discusses how understanding type differences can help teenagers navigate the complications of high school dating. Her teenage daughter describes the positive impact that learning about, and appreciating, communication style differences based on personality type, had on her own relationship.

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Happy holidays from People Stripes! May these type tips be our gift to you, bringing you peace, joy, and love, with the hope of acceptance this holiday season.

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This is the third, and final article of the two-year study at Combs Elementary school in Raleigh, North Carolina, where the MMTIC® instrument and system was comprehensively incorporated into the school system. In this article Kesstan Blandin highlights the education the third-grade students received on decision-making using the psychological type Z-model, and student outcomes for the study.

The seven main student outcomes were: (1) developing type awareness, (2) enhancing their self-awareness, (3) advocating for their choices, (4) challenging themselves to improve their stretches, (5) improving classroom community, (6) enhancing their self-management, and (7) promoting motivation and engagement. Three of these outcomes are discussed in more detail.

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Imagine a world with well-rounded, caring, emotionally aware, and capable people living their best life with a healthy sense of their own identity and respect for others. Isn't this what we all want? In this article, the first in a series, Yvonne Nelson-Reid explores the interrelationship between personality type and the Social Emotional Learning (SEL) movement, and how that connection can benefit the healthy development of youth and adults alike.

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Personality type awareness offers a way to manage stress, be more comfortable with our stretches, and further develop our strengths. This month, in this third article of the SEL series, on the core competency Self-Management, Yvonne Nelson-Reid highlights how we can resolve the conflicts that arise when dealing with one another's opposite preferences, especially the Judging and Perceiving preference pair. Self-management, especially in stressful moments, becomes easier with an understanding of personality type.

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In this fourth article of the Social Emotional Learning (SEL) series, Yvonne Nelson-Reid presents how to approach the SEL core competency of Responsible Decision-Making by using the Zig-Zag Process™ (Z-model). The Z-model introduces a balanced method for decision-making by using all four mental processes of Sensing, Intuition, Thinking, and Feeling to allow for clearer perceptions and sounder judgments.

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In the sixth article of the series, Personality Type and Social Emotional Learning, Yvonne Nelson-Reid highlights how Social Awareness, along with an understanding and appreciation of type differences, can make way for the constructive use of these differences. Differences often drive us apart, but valuing these differences can unite us and instill greater compassion and empathy for others.

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Back to school! Now more than ever, young people need social and emotional guidance. In this article Yvonne Nelson-Reid encourages giving your child the gift of the MMTIC® assessment to help your child become self-aware. Type awareness teaches your child what their natural strengths are and where they may find learning challenging.

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This month’s article is by Sandra Etherington, a mother of two who is an MBTI® and MMTIC® certified professional. Sandra eloquently shares her own parenting experience dealing with her children and a conflict that arose between Thinking and Feeling preferences.

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We are excited to add a new article to our From the Kids series, because this time it is written by a kid! Please welcome Gracyn Nelson-Reid, a junior in university, who grew up in a home where personality type differences were understood and appreciated. She shares the value of family traditions during holidays and special events, like Halloween, as it relates to her personality type.

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What are your kids' personality preferences and have you ever found yourself frustrated by them? In this month's article, Sandra Etherington shares how to shift your perspective to discover reasons to be grateful for your child's individual personality preferences.

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Gracyn Nelson-Reid, writing an article for the From the Kids series, tells us how her preference for ESFJ and her boyfriend's preference for INTP has caused numerous disagreements between them due to their complete opposite personality types. It hasn't been easy for them but understanding their personality type differences has provided a framework for better, more respectful communication.

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Pets, personality type preferences, and high energy kids make a chaotic house for Sandra Etherington. Using her handy-dandy knowledge of typology, Sandra figures out how to how to change her kids behavior in order to improve their relationship with the new cute, cuddly puppy.

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People Stripes is proud to share The Myers-Briggs Company Podcast on parenting and personality type, featuring Dr. Yvonne Nelson-Reid, our in-house Type expert. In this episode, Dr. Nelson-Reid dives into the most commonly asked questions about personality type and parenting.

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Looking to foster holiday harmony? Take a peek at these type tips presented by Dr. Yvonne Nelson-Reid. And may your holidays be peaceful and fun!

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Using all the mental processes (Sensing, Intuition, Thinking, and Feeling) can lead to clearer perceptions, sounder judgments, and more effective problem-solving. In this second article of the Problem-Solving two-part series, Dr. Yvonne Nelson-Reid explains Gordon Lawrence’s Z-Model for problem-solving using MBTI® personality type, and each personality type's bias is considered.

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The four mental processes—Sensing, Intuition, Thinking, and Feeling—are used for taking in information and making decisions. We need all the processes for effective problem-solving. Most of us tend to lean on our natural strengths and neglect our stretches. For a balanced way to problem-solve, Yvonne Nelson-Reid, PhD, proposes the use of the Z-model. The Z-model is easy to use and directs one, using questions for guidance, through each of the four mental processes.

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