Usually children approach school and authority figures from two different perspectives. One is a "teacher pleaser." They want the teacher to like them so they will more frequently do whatever the teacher asks in order to be in the teacher's favor. The second style is a "rule follower." If there is a rule (a reasonable and good rule), this child is willing to comply. The first kind of child responds positively to persuasion from a teacher. The second does not. For the second child, persuasion merely suggests there are two choices.

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Encouraging kids to recognize and appreciate differences in each other, not only in their sibling relationships but in those relationships outside of the home, with friends, teachers, and extended family, can help bridge communication gaps. It isn't always easy.

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When two siblings have the same family chore to do at different times it is easy to observe how each person approaches the task in different ways. Our family’s task of doing dishes came with a dilemma.

My daughter (10) had a preference for “getting the job done.” She would go to the kitchen and clean everything as quickly as possible so she could have more time for play. My son (8) would see this as a moment to play while getting the job done.

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In my 30th year, I became a mother for the first time. All I really had to go on was how I was raised by my mother and observing friends who took the plunge before me.

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Have you endured the experience of supervising, snoopervising, and actually doing your child’s homework? I believe every parent wants the child to do the work independently but for some that habit does not seem to develop naturally. Some parents monitor every step of their child’s work, and the child learns to manipulate the system until the parent is doing more work than the child.

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